Slide templates and interactive classroom activities are also available. Open up conversations exploring the difficulties. Teaching our kids about consent might seem awkward or foreign, not only because it involves the subject of sex, but also because the majority of today’s adults didn’t get consent … The Healthy Sex Talk: Teaching Kids Consent, Ages 1-21 By Joanna Schroeder , Julie Gillis, Jamie Utt and Alyssa Royse A list of parenting action items, created in the hope that we can raise a generation of children who have less rape and sexual assault in their lives. ACTIVITY: QUESTIONNAIRE (10 mins) (optional) • This activity can also be conducted as verbal class activity using the power point images. But when it comes to teaching kids about consent, we do way too little, way too late. Taken from my new Consent Teaching Pack. [Knowledge, Skill] 3.Demonstrate an understanding of how giving and getting clear consent is part of a respectful relationship. What happened?”. We believe parents can start educating children about consent and empowerment as early as 1 year old and continuing into the college years. Teaching teens about consent isn't an option in today's world. If you would like me to come to your school or college or youth club to teach this you can book me here. There is a lot of information slides but there is also some activities and a link to the 'how to show consent through tea'. What did you do or say? You might know that consent means agreeing to do something. What makes it easier? How Can We Teach Consent? FREE (2) Popular paid resources. Kim: It’s good to hear from you! Consent needs to be understood as more than just a concept in dating and sex. The ASK. A consent workshop activity using handshakes as a way of learning about sexual consent. For instance, what are sexually active men called compared with what sexually active women are called? Attitudes and beliefs formed during these critical years will most likely affect how they treat their dating partners now and in the future. Teaching our kids about consent might seem awkward or foreign, not only because it involves the subject of sex, but also because the majority of today’s adults didn’t get consent … This involves asking everyone to shake hands and there will a total of three rounds of handshakes! It’s a global concept, with applications in every facet of life. However sometimes it can lead to rubbish sex because people aren’t able to talk about what they actually like or they don’t have bodies that can enjoy that kind of sex. SHAPE follows a model of peer facilitation, where we work with students through participation and activities to come to new understandings of issues of sex and sexuality. Jackson, a cute guy at the party, approaches Naomi, who is totally drunk. Teach them that consent means asking for and waiting to hear a "yes"—it does not mean continuing to touch someone sexually until they hear the word "no." RESPECT. video was created to promote healthy relationships among tweens and teens by providing concrete examples of how to ask for consent, what enthusiastic, verbal consent looks like, and how to accept “no” as normal boundary-setting in relationships. A fist bump? Give and Get Consent A resource for teaching sexual consent to Key Stages 3 & 4 Created by Rape Crisis South London (RASASC) in partnership with the Child and Woman Abuse Studies Unit, the Office of the Children’s Commissioner, and the End Violence Against Women Coalition. Another experiential activity you could try is my ‘Choose Chocolate’ exercise in my Consent Teaching Pack, where participants get to practice tuning into what they want and learning how to meet their needs and others. California provides sample activities on how to teach consent. video was created for tweens and teens ages 11-16 to show concrete examples of: what enthusiastic, verbal consent looks like, and; You can use the video and accompanying discussion guides (one for PARENTS, one for GROUP FACILITATORS) to spark conversations with teens about respectful relationships, the importance of consent, and how teens can ask for and give consent in their friendships and dating relationships. Teaching them about consent can help keep them safe from child predators, but it can also be about simpler things, like whether they want to play a game or get a hug from a classmate — laying the groundwork for an understanding of sexual relationships much later on, as well as ensuring a safer classroom environment in the present. LISTEN. Look for body language, eye contact, facial expressions that kind of thing”, Notice what happens in the room and then ask some of these questions, “How did it compare with the first two?”, “On a scale of one to ten how was it?”, “Think about how you communicated to each other about the handshake. Although people may feel like they should take part in the handshakes (which might be one of the learning points of the activity) please don’t explicitly force people to do so. Sometimes being a bit ‘second handshake’ is important and some people are able to talk about sex like this. This involves the belief that failure to do something would result in serious harm against someone, either self or someone else. Ask the group to think of why this is. ... NSPCC Share Aware Teaching Resources. Elementary schools are filled with innocent little humans who long for nurture, acceptance, and loving touch, often in the form of hugs. The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. This Is How You Teach Kids About Consent We hope parents and educators find this list of action items and teaching tools helpful, and that together we can help create a generation of children who have less rape and sexual assault in their lives. It is the responsibility of the person initiating the sexual activity to get this permission.” How do we teach our children about consent? No parent wants their child to grow up to be a victim or a perpetrator, which means teaching about consent early is crucial. It may get a bit uncomfortable to talk about these things in the context of young children, but it is important to break through that stigma so we can address these issues as they are developing so they don’t become larger later on in life. Ask the group the following questions and try to make sure different views are heard. Once everyone has settled back down …. This lesson focuses on consent and aims to equip young people with the knowledge and skills to keep themselves and others safe. • The law defines the age of consent as 16. A Practical Framework for Teaching Consent. Jackson asks Naomi if she wants to hook up. For any sexual activity to happen, everyone needs to consent… www.vsdvalliance.org @VActionAlliance Ppt Presentation - Informed Consent General Overview; Ppt Presentation - Informed Consent Case Studies; Objectives. Sometimes it can result in sex that isn’t consenting: either like feeling forced to take part in someone else’s handshake, or doing it because it’s expected, or one thing leading to another without anyone checking in that this is what you wanted.”, That’s quite a lot so make sure people have understood that. LISTEN. 2 Teach them the importance of saying “no” or “stop. The Home Office Disrespect NoBody PSHE education teaching materials are designed to support the Government’s campaign to help prevent abusive behaviours within young people’s relationships.. Are there times when it’s better to talk more than others? Good quality education on consent should strive to support young people to have safe, pleasurable and satisfying experiences. 6 Consent = is giving permission, saying yes or agreeing to do something. So focus on the tiny micro-communications of the other person: eye contact, nodding or shaking heads, facial expressions, noises, short words or phrases like “oh yeah” or “bit softer,” how bodies move towards or against each other, moving hands etc.”. Consent always needs an enthusiastic yes. Then explain …, “However if people were more ‘second handshake’ about sex then it would be really difficult to have sex because everything would have to be negotiated. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2011. Many children will hug any adult who is willing to reciprocate the cuddle. The ASK. Teaching Consent Doesn’t Have to be Hard; Widen Layout: standard. Play it back in your head in super slow motion. It can open up a lot of discussion so it may need a bit of guidance to take it to where you need it to go. And evidence suggests that what we are doing doesn’t give students the skills they need to … At the heart of consent is the idea that every person has a right to personal sovereignty – the right to not be acted upon by someone else in a sexual manner unless they give that person clear permission. The ASK. It’s just £12.50 for an instant download. RESPECT. As the children get older, you can expand on your teaching to include talking of boundaries in sexual relationships. Three Handshakes – An activity for learning how consent feels. Kids act on impulse, and sometimes they do things that aren’t appropriate without realizing that their actions are inappropriate. Really pay attention to them. Naomi nods her head and is led upstairs by Jackson. If you would like to deliver this activity in the classroom as part of a relationships and sex education curriculum for 14 – 16 year olds, head to DO… RSE for Schools.Â. We reached out last week, asking Kim for a few practical ideas to teach consent to our littles — whether they’re small, pre-teen, or — sob! We’ve also massively improved our greetings whenever we meet up (a good firm hug, lasting for about 2 seconds). © Justin Hancock and Meg John Barker 2015. Invite people to share some stories about times when actions without consent have made them uncomfortable or created problems. By finding new and innovative ways to teach Canadians that consent is simply the voluntary agreement to participate in the sexual activity in question, educators can impact a whole generation. — teenagers. Identify barriers to effective informed consent. DO YOU and TEACH Consent are projects of the Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action Alliance, Virginia's leading voice on sexual and intimate partner violence. It’s never too early to teach children about consent and boundaries on The Washington Post The Healthy Sex Talk: Teaching Kids Consent, Ages 1-21 on The Good Men Project If you like using these cards to get the conversations going with your kids, you may also like to download my empathy game to talk about respecting each other’s feelings even more. Teaching young people to acknowledge and respect other people’s personal boundaries can help create a society where no one feels ashamed to willingly engage in, or to reject, sexual activity. “how was that?” (answers here may be quite short “ok” “all right”), “how was it to other handshakes you’ve had?”, “what’s the secret to a great handshake?” (people might talk about firmness, or the context – eg who’s doing the handshake and when), “on a scale of one to ten how was it?” (usually this gets between 4 and 7), Then explain that you would like them to shake hands again …, “This time I’d like you to shake hands again but I’d like you negotiate it.”, “Do you want to shake hands with left or right hand?” [you might want to ask if there are any left handed people in the room and which hand they shake with], “Do you want to go up and down or side to side?”, “How firm do you want it to be? It's about how to choose your perfect pizza, what to watch on TV, who plays in goal, politics, rights, and yeah also a bit about sex. Create educational activities for ethical dilemmas regarding informed consent and confidentiality using these presentations. This means that if someone is drunk or nearly unconscious or felt they weren’t able to say ‘no’ then it’s not consensual. Often when people have sex they take a ‘first handshake’ approach. Instead we could try being more ‘third handshake.’, To explore how people can incorporate the best of both handshakes and to think of how they do this. )There are also mini lessons included, called activities.These worksheets are for Personal / Classroom use only and licensed for a single user only.Purchase extra licenses at a discount price to allow o At Power Up, Speak Out! from harm. If you allow the discussion to roam a little it can take longer (which might be good to do in a training course). A shoulder bump? Also, just because someone hasn’t said ‘no’ doesn’t mean ‘yes.’ So if someone says ‘no’ you should stop.”, “However what does consent feel like and how do we have sex we actually might want to have? What makes asking for the sex you want (or don’t want) more difficult? Please leave a review if you found any of this lesson helpful! This will reduce the time taken to 5 minutes. It works as an analogy for sexual consent, but it’s also interesting to think about how we do and don’t consent to greetings in everyday life. There are ways to be second handshake when we’re planning sex with someone – such as texting what we like, or talking together about different kinds of sex we might want to try. Additionally, Kim is a writer and teacher who blogs at Tea and Intimacy; if anyone can talk consent and passion, it’s Kim. These teaching materials can be easily integrated into your PSHE education programme and are designed to help pupils to understand and maintain healthy relationships while learning about consent and challenging controlling behaviour, violence and abuse. There might be so much negotiation about every single thing (kissing, touching, words, taking clothes off etc) that it would take away a lot of the fun and spontaneity. To explore what consent may feel like and exploring what makes getting and giving consent easier and harder. Sexual activity includes kissing, sexual touching and sexual intercourse (oral, anal, and vaginal). As a violence prevention program working in rural Montana, we've created a five-lesson toolkit for educators that encourages middle school students to think critically about healthy relationships, power dynamics, boundaries and consent. www.vsdvalliance.org @VActionAlliance Remember, when it comes to sexual activities and sex, you have the right to decide when you do it, where you do it, and how you do it. EC_Resources As they’ve already learned about reading non-verbal messages, you can already go beyond ‘no means no’, to teach about enthusiastic consent. FREE (2) NSPCC Key stage 3: Lesson plan 6 - Consent. You can use the video and accompanying discussion guides (one for PARENTS, one for GROUP FACILITATORS) to spark conversations with teens about respectful relationships, the importance of consent, and how teens can ask for and give consent in their friendships and dating relationships. I've written "Can We Talk About Consent - A Book About freedom, choices, and agreement." The illustrations are beautiful and hilarious. Negotiate this on a scale of 1 to 10”, “How long would you like it to go on for, or how many shakes would you like?”, “Do you want to dry your hands first?”, “Do you want to do something else altogether? Sex in this case might mean ‘one thing leads to another.’ ‘Foreplay’ and then ‘intercourse’ (like penis or toys in vagina or anus).”, “This approach works for some people and some people like that kind of sex because it can be spontaneous and exciting. High school. we can relate. Consent just means that you and your partner are old enough and have the capacity and free will to agree to engage in sexual activities together. Desiree and Naomi are best friends and are at a party together. They might say “it was less awkward,” “it was over more quickly,” “it was more fun,” “it was more exciting not knowing how it was going to be.”), “So neither ‘first handshake’ or ‘second handshake’ is ideal. LISTEN. USING THE VIDEO AND DISCUSSION GUIDE. People often say that consent is confusing, or they’re unsure about “grey areas,” but consent is easy. By Monica Rivera. Did that happen in this lesson? After completing this educational activity in Informed Consent and Confidentiality, you should be able to: Identify the four principle components of informed consent. DO YOU and TEACH Consent are projects of the Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action Alliance, Virginia's leading voice on sexual and intimate partner violence. For children between 5-12 years old, you should focus more on teaching kids to respect one another’s space and to avoid bullying behavior to help grow empathy. Even if they suspect that teaching consent is part of the problem, they're not sure how. In this article, we’ll go over important tools and techniques that can be used to help teach consent to children in preschool. how ‘in tune’ they were with the other person, whether they copied or mirrored what the other person was doing, how the moments of connection and disconnection felt. Coercion and Consent Scenarios 1. Yes please! How might how we feel about ourselves affect how much we feel we can have the sex (or handshakes) that we actually want to have? Sexual violence is a big problem in young dating relationships in part because teens are not clear on what consent means, nor how to ask for it. For teens and young adults, the focus should be more on sex, self-esteem, and setting healthy boundaries. The first lesson focuses on changing holds or positions. However a lot of people find this really difficult.”, “So, the key is to be more ‘third handshake.’ This means really paying attention to what each other wants and trying to make it mutually pleasurable. Teach verbal and nonverbal communication. They often don’t (or can’t) negotiate or say what they want but rely on the script for what counts as sex. I’ve used it in sex education with young people and adults, Meg-John has used it in training courses with therapists and we’ve both used it at seminars. This is my fifth semester as a SHAPE facilitator, and I am still trying to figure out how to teach about consent. (Consent, Sexual Assault, Date Rape and Sexual Grooming. Also someone has to be able to give their capacity to consent. )There are also mini lessons included, called activities.These worksheets are for Personal / Classroom use only and licensed for a single user only.Purchase extra licenses at a discount price to allow o Discriminate between acceptable and unacceptable exclusion of information presented as part of the informed consent process. I’m going to take you through two lesson plans that can work for anyone from beginners on up to experienced dancers that want to practice breaking some of these old patterns. For full instructions on how to use this activity, as well as a comprehensive slideshow to help you to deliver it, you should check out my new Consent Teaching Pack, which contains several other interactive and in-depth activities about consent, negotiation and power.